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Batman The Animated Series- Quite Contrary

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  • Batman The Animated Series- Quite Contrary

    AUTHOR'S NOTE:

    Since Suicide Squad is now out, I decided to pull this story out of mothballs so to speak. This story is an AU take on certain events that happened in the Justice League series, specifically "Wild Cards" and "Epilogue". I liked how it turned out in he end and, hopefully, so will you.




    “Alright babies, here we go.” Ivy cooed as she carefully trimmed her geraniums with the pruning shears. The eco-criminal was many things, but attentive to her favorite plants was one thing no one could ever deny.

    Poison Ivy, also once known as Pamela Isley to the GCPD, sat in her chair among her flowers and assorted rare plants within the confines of the hideout she shared on the outskirts of Gotham City along with her somewhat best friend and partner/rumored friend with benefits, Harley Quinn, also known to the GCPD as Harleen Quinzel. The two had been working together now for over a year, which while it may seem normal to some, was actually quite amazing to Ivy; Harley while loyal, had many irritable quirks that she had to put up with (you try dealing with a woman who uses a jet powered pogo stick in a getaway). But she was also someone that she leaned on, especially for emotional support. Harley’s continued partnership with her was almost hampered by one thing; her fixation and obsession with the Joker.

    Or, at least, it was.

    It had been nearly two years now since the events that went down in Las Vegas when the Justice League took on the Royal Flush Gang, headed by Joker. His twisted machinations, which culminated in a plan to drive millions of people insane thanks to the power of the Meta human Ace, backfired on him as Ace learned just how untrustworthy Joker was. Using her power, she drove Joker into a state of catatonic madness, leaving his mind closed shut to all. Harley would eventually come to Ivy, bitter and confused, no longer sure if she could go on without her ‘Puddin’. For the most part, Ivy believed it was for the best, as she did everything in her power to make Harley see just how abusive her relationship to the Clown Prince of Crime truly was. Even in the times when the two were in Arkham together, she actually worked with the doctors there to help Harley out and acknowledge what effect he really had on her.

    Months later, after the Justice League’s apparent final battle with the forces of Apokolyps and the abrupt disappearance of Darkseid and Lex Luthor, Ace showed up again with a new Royal Flush Gang. Her powers had grown to the point where reality could be changed by merely a thought. But it was slowly killing her; Batman had volunteered to stop the child before it could become a much worse catastrophe and he did so in the best way he could.

    By talking.

    The girl had died quietly, at peace, and everything she had done had been undone. Everything that is except for what she did to the Joker. As if she willed it from beyond, the Joker slipped into a deeper coma, one that he could not possibly wake from. He was moved into a high level detention area of Cadmus deep underneath the Antarctic ice under lock and key. And to this day, that is where he resided, not a peep coming from him.

    After a while, Harley slowly changed. Yes she had that manic, sarcastic and childish wit to go with her larcenous nature. But she seemed more focused, analytical. She actually came up with plans that could work. And she managed to keep Batman on his toes. Even he had to respect that.

    “I hope that all of my babies are ready for the big move.” Ivy sighed as she carefully replaced the top soil in one of the adjacent plants. “Our pointy eared friend has gotten much more efficient now, so we need to get you all to a nice, quiet place away from the smog of this city.” Ivy had decided to stay in the forest near Gotham for a while, as the GCPD and Batman had somehow made crime go down even faster. With the absence of the Joker, many of the crime families he had under his thumb eventually crumbled without his leadership, making it quick easier for the cops to ferret them out. The other rouges had scattered, some of them electing to do what Penguin and Riddler did and conduct semi-legitimate business. But something was bugging Ivy; where was Harley anyway? She had left a note on top of the dresser, saying something about ‘doing window shopping’ and hadn’t called Ivy since.

    The answer would shortly come to her; the door swung open slowly and Harley slowly lurched in. But she was not dressed in her usual outfit; Harley had on a plain white t-shirt, tied up that exposed her midriff, flame red shorts and sneakers. Her hair was done up in pigtails as usual and her face had a mask of exhaustion. “Hiya Red,” she yawned, “did I miss the ponies?”

    “Wow. You look like you’ve seen better days.” Ivy whistled as Harley flopped down face first on the couch.

    “You have no idea what I did last night,” Harley muttered. “And it’s one for the Penthouse letters section, I can tell you.”

    “Oh dear God, please don’t tell me you actually considered Miller’s offer and joined that sleaze ball’s club!”

    “Yeah, me wearing a cowboy hat and chaps sliding around a pole, that will be the day. Nah, my night was way freakier than that.” Harley spat out.

    “On what level freaky are we talking?”

    Harley raised her head and nervously chuckled “I, uh, may have done some kinky things involving a certain woman that wears a certain cape and cowl.”

    “WHAT?” Ivy shrieked, dropping her spade. “That’s just—of all the women---HER?!” Ivy stared furiously at Harley as she nearly yelled out "I know you need to get over that clown BUT BATGIRL?”

    “Whoa, whoa, calm down there, else you’ll burst a vessel. Or petal. Or whatever you got.”

    “Yes, yes you’re right.” Stopping herself from hyperventilating, Ivy sat down in the chair opposite of Harley and muttered “And at least it wasn’t with Cheetah. I don’t even know what to classify that. I do admit there is a certain charm about possibly scoring with a cape…”

    “Is that why you always try to score with Bats?”

    “Oh you’re one to talk. YOU kissed him.” Ivy reminded her. “But you and Batgirl, how did that happen?”

    “Ok, here’s how it went down. I needed to get some, err, extra spending money. I was running low on knock out gas, so I raided your compartment. You know that black bottle you have?”

    “Yes,” Ivy nodded, “the one that says ‘Do not touch, Untested, THAT MEANS YOU HARLEY’, is that the bottle you meant?”

    “Uh huh.”

    “I thought as much. Continue.”

    “Well, I mixed it with one of my own knockout gasses and took it with me on my job last night…”



    THE NIGHT BEFORE…




    “Oh baby, this is almost too easy.” Harley smiled as she slipped into Wellingtons. The newest department store had quite a fancy security system. State of the art, it featured lots of motion detectors, automatic drones and very tough to bypass security doors.

    The problem was that it used LexCorp tech. And Harley had become very familiar with LexCorp’s systems in her down time. Hacking into the system and breaching the area had been child’s play compared to the old days of just breaching the entrance using a very huge, almost comical, mallet.

    “Ok, stick to the plan girl. Get in, get the nicest stuff and get the hell out before Bats shows up to spoil the fun.” she said to herself as she crept across the halls. Harley, quietly crawling along the walls of the store, scanned the area, looking for the items she needed to procure to help with her money woes. Seconds later, as she peered into the jewelry section, she would see what she desired; in a tall glass display case were a set of black and white diamond broaches, shaped in the yin-yang symbol, along with several gold bracelets. “Hoo mama, now that will set me up for a very nice payday!” Harley whistled. Taking care to be extra cautious and scan the areas both above and around, she walked over to the case and carefully examined it. “Let’s see here…looks to be pressure sensitive. And judging by the general build of this case, I say they would more than likely have some sort of laser grid to protect these little trinkets. Of course, being the gal I am, I have one thing they didn’t count on…”And with that, Harley pulled out from her pockets a small square remote with a huge red button in the center. “A big red button.” With glee, Harley pressed down hard and watched as in a few seconds, whatever lights were left on in the building were shut off. “OK, power source cut. That should give me at least 6 minutes to break the display case and—“

    “Get your butt handed to you.”

    “Get my butt handed to me—uh oh!”

    Harley instinctively dodged to her left, avoiding the fist aimed for the side of her face, then cartwheeled to get her away from the roundhouse kick that followed. Turning her body, she came face to face with the person who had tried to ambush her: Batgirl. The black and yellow suited redhead partner of Batman stood a scant few feet away from Harley, arms folded as she said to her “I kinda figured you would be behind this. Although to be frank, I was kinda betting it’d be Catwoman.”

    “She’s probably off somewhere rubbing up against Batman’s leg, if ya catch my drift!” Harley taunted.

    “Trust me, wouldn’t be the first. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. What’s it gonna be?”

    “You know me girl; I always like it a bit rough!” And with that, Harley grabbed her mallet and with one hand swung her body around, launching it towards Batgirl’s head. She smirked as she easily sidestepped the incoming weapon, wisecracking “Oh come on, that’s the oldest trick in the—“

    “I know. It was so I could use this!” With her signature huge pop gun, Harley aimed at Batgirl’s feet and fired. A small canister landed and exploded, releasing a light pink gas all around Batgirl, enveloping her in a cloud. Harley, not sure what would happen, made the best of her situation; using the butt of her gun, she shattered the glass display case, grabbed the jewels and stuffed them inside her pouch and bolted out of the jewelry section, not looking back to see if Batgirl would pursue her. If the knockout gas she usually employed worked, Batgirl would be incapacitated for at least a good 20 minutes or so.

    Making her way through the Outdoors area, Harley finally slowed down and caught her breath. She could see the emergency exit ahead. In just a few seconds, she would be making her way out through the door, into the alleys of the city, down a manhole cover and on her way to a nice payday. Hopefully she could get a good price for the items she grabbed. Or, in the best case, a trade in for something cooler like a limo. With extra mini fridges. Yeah that would be—

    “Oh Harleeeyyyyy…”

    Harley froze. That was Batgirl’s voice. No doubt, that was Batgirl but…it seemed a bit off.

    “Harley, Harley, Harley…where are you going in such a hurry? I thought you wanted to play…”

    Harley slowly gulped. Very rarely did Batgirl take a page out of someone else’s book. She was more of an upfront snarker if anything. This however, was NOT something she did on occasion. “Yeah, uh I think we should take a rain check on there, missy.” Harley replied. “The way you sound, you might wanna go somewhere and have a nice little nap. Doctor’s orders.”

    “Oh, I think I will lie down actually. I think I will need a little company though.”

    “Might I suggest investing in some Adam and Eve products like a—“ A small prick interrupted Harley. She patted her neck and felt something sticking out. Harley pulled on whatever it was and examined the object that got her; a small, bat shaped dart with a thin needle. “Nice try. But Ivy’s hooked me up with all sorts of stuff to help me resist any drugs that Bat’s got in his—“

    And again, Harley would be interrupted mid-sentence. This time from a well-placed knife edge blow to the side of her neck. The last thing she saw before going black was Batgirl’s smiling face as she stood over her.



    “…nnnn…Cinnamon buns are not currency…not yet anyway…”

    Harley’s eyes slowly fluttered open. As she did so, she slowly muttered “Please please PLEASE let me be in a nice safe cell in Arkham. I hear the new facilities are nice.”

    Harley strained her eyes and moved her hand. Well, she attempted to at least. She looked to either of her sides and saw that her wrists were bound, by red silk fabric no less, to a metal headboard. Attempting to move her legs, she discovered that her ankles were bound as well. Then she also discovered one other quite alarming thing; she was stark freaking naked.

    Harley took in her surroundings; she was obviously on a bed, somewhere. Thankfully, the mattress she was now on seemed to have a very nice, hopefully sterile, sheet covering it. The room itself was small and she could see at least one other door, which was where the bathroom was from what she could make out. There was no window, which sent off a red signal in her brain and next to the bed was a nightstand where her harlequin hood was at. On the floor nearby was the rest of her costume.

    Harley gulped. “Ok, this is either gonna be the best thing or the worst thing that could happen to me. And please, someone tell me we’re not going to relive any moments from an Eli Roth film.”

    “Now now, we’ll have none of that kind of talk.”

    The voice came from the shadows of the room nearby. From the inky depths slowly stalked out Batgirl, her captor. But, as Harley noticed, she too was nude, save for her mask and cowl. She was quite slim and shaved, Harley noticed and—

    HEY! No time for that now!! I think you just booked yourself a one way ticket on-board the Rape Train and there ain’t no brakes if I am reading this right!

    “Ok, Batgirl are you feeling yourself?” Harley nervously asked. “I mean, seriously, if you are having trouble getting a date, maybe you should try hooking up with Green Arrow—wait no Black Canary would have a fit. How about that Green Lantern—wait no, that’s a dead end on all 3 of them. No, how about Flash—nah, that’s a REAL bad idea. Of all the times for Supergirl to disappear!”

    “Hey now, don’t be so quick to leave.” Batgirl purred.

    “Now I KNOW that one was intentional.”

    “I think the regular approach to our current situation was counterproductive.” Batgirl continued as she slowly moved onto the bed. The younger girl locked eyes with Harley as she said “It seems we get nowhere with the usual pattern of fighting. So I think perhaps I should try a, shall we say, alternate means to this.”

    “Uh, right, sure…look, as a certified shrink myself, who I should point out is a lot saner than I let on, I gotta say that this form of punishment—“

    “That’s right, you’ve been a NAUGHTY girl.” Batgirl cooed, as she reached out and touched one of Harley’s thighs. “You need some punishment!”

    “Yeah, about that. That’s not exactly how these things work—oh dear God what happened to you? It ain’t Bats is it, because trust me these kind of relationships just end in tears.”

    “Oh it’s not Batman, believe me. And when I’m done, you’ll be screaming a whole different tune.” Batgirl grinned as she moved in closer.

    “Wait wait, let’s just take this slow, I mean I think perhaps when that knockout gas hit—Oh it WOULD BE THE KNOCKOUT GAS!! Stupid Ivy and her pheromone experiments!” But before Harley could try to reason with Batgirl further, she found herself lip locked with the fiery redhead, feeling the tongue of her aggressive captor breach her mouth, Harley was taken aback at the ferocity at which Batgirl had attacked and her thoughts raced to various ways to try to work around this.

    Yeah I got nothin’. Maybe if we keep talking we can let the chemical work its way through. ‘Course I got no damn clue how long it’s gonna take but—WHOA!! What is she DOING?!!

    Harley’s thoughts were interrupted as she looked at her captor. Batgirl had moved down now, her head was at Harley’s breasts. Harley watched as the younger woman had begun to slowly fondle and massage them, sending ripples of pleasure through her body, while occasionally taking the time to flick a thumb over her nipples. “Just where the heck are we anyway?” she asked as she scanned the room looking for anything familiar.

    “Somewhere in downtown Gotham, a dive called The Hyena’s Den.” Batgirl answered as she continued to grope Harley. “You know about it?”

    “Oh yeah. Big time.” Well, so much for any help. Batgirl then made her move and placed her mouth over a nipple and lightly nibbled on it. “Oh GOD…” Harley moaned. She was doing all in her power to not enjoy the feelings Batgirl was subjecting her to. So far, it was not working. “Did you learn any of this from Supergirl?”

    “Actually, Stargirl.”

    “Wait, WHAT?”

    “She gets very lonely sometimes.” Batgirl replied, continuing her nipple nibbling. Harley rolled her eyes, exhaling “I’m beginning to wonder about you capes now. And I thought that one time with Wonder Woman was awkward enough…”

    “Wonder Woman?” Batgirl looked at her, eyebrows raised.

    Harley blushed “Uh, long story…let’s just say I was DESPERATE.” Harley gasped sharply as she felt another hand pinch her other nipple. Batgirl had gotten a little bolder, and she showed no signs of slowing down. “I’m getting a little too comfortable with this.” Harley muttered.

    “I figured you’d say that.”

    “Wait, what do you mean—WHOAA!!!”

    A jolt shot through her body causing her hips to buck involuntarily. Looking at her boobs, Harley looked to see in Batgirl’s hand the one thing she didn’t expect her to use; a joy buzzer, applied to her nipple. “Wow…that was…whoa…I’m kinda at a loss for words!” Harley gasped.

    “Oh, so you DO like it when I do that?”

    “Like what?”

    “This” Again Batgirl would press the seemingly harmless gag tool to Harley’s nipple and again, Harley had her body racked with a blast of unrestrained electric joy. “I found it in your clothes and adjusted it appropriately. I figured there are far better uses for it then just for crime.”

    “Oh God…I think I created a monster.” Harley sighed. She felt Batgirl moving down now, placing herself in-between Harley’s legs as she asked her “You don’t have a whoopee cushion anywhere near there do ya?”

    “Nope. I don’t think I’ll need it though. It looks like the joy buzzer was more than enough!” Batgirl whistled as she slid a finger down Harley’s labia. The woman shivered as Batgirl repeated her actions, saying “Didn’t know it would take something like this to get you wet so easily.”

    “Yeah, sure. Maybe you wanna slow down and—“ Harley meeped as Batgirl parted her lips open with two fingers. There was no denying that Harley was slowly succumbing to Batgirl’s actions and Batgirl was nowhere near done. With her other hand now, Batgirl slowly rubbed Harley’s clit in a circle, making her strain against the silk restraints that held her in place. Harley’s breathing became ragged now as Batgirl continued, her entrance now becoming wetter as Batgirl’s hands worked their magic. “Now then don’t you find my alternate methods a lot more preferable?”

    “Uh…well…”

    “Say it...”

    “Ok kid, maybe it’s a little more fun than trading fists.”

    “Oh goodie. Then you won’t mind if I do this then.” Batgirl then moved closer and licked roughly at Harley’s burning clit. Harley gritted her teeth as she felt a wave of euphoria strike her. She did enjoy what just happened, but she was desperate not to let Batgirl know just how much. Well, at least until…

    “Of course, if I was to do THIS…” Batgirl then placed her mouth over Harley’s entrance and before Harley knew it, went to town on her, licking up and down her pussy’s entrance and sucking on her clit before sticking her tongue in deep inside and eating her out for all she was worth. The attention she gave to Harley was unlike anything she ever experienced, even with Ivy and Harley could only gasp and moan in response, further slipping into a haze of lust. She was reaching her peak, Batgirl sensed and she gripped either side of Harley’s thighs as she dove in for one last, long, sensual lick with her tongue across her button.

    “OH GOD YES!!!!” Harley screamed as she peaked. Batgirl held on for dear life as Harley came, her body straining against the bonds which held it back. The creaks of the bed posts and headboard along with Harley’s lustful moans were the only sounds that filled Batgirl’s ears as she lapped up her fluids, eager not to let this moment go to waste. Seconds later, Harley would settle down, gasping for breath as Batgirl wiped her chin. “Now, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?” Batgirl seductively teased the blonde.

    “I don’t have any witty comebacks right now…let me catch my breath...” Harley retorted.

    “Oh no, not quite yet, Quinn. You need to return the favor.” Batgirl then rose from her spot and straddled Harley’s head. Reaching down, Batgirl parted her own lips open and told Harley “I think at this point it’s only fair that you share the same experience with me.”

    “Not like I have a say in the matter,” Harley gasped “but hell, I may as well enjoy every minute of this!” And with that, Harley craned her neck up and licked up and down Batgirl’s entrance, moving at a brisk pace. Although she was held in place by her silken bonds, Harley’s efforts were just as effective. Batgirl bit her lip, enjoying the attention that Harley gave her. “WOW! Is this what you and Ivy do in your off time?” she gasped.

    “Yeah…wait, does everyone think we’re—ah screw it! It’s an even worse secret than Nightwing and that alien chick!” Harley stuck her tongue further inside of Batgirl as she gripped the headboard, her moans getting louder. The sight of seeing one of Gotham’s bravest being pleased by her mouth became a huge turn on for Harley, her only regret being her hands were unavailable to grant herself more stimulation. Batgirl then clenched her eyes shut and Harley knew that on a few seconds…

    “YES!!!”

    Batgirl came hard, throwing her head back, coating Harley’s mouth with her cum. Harley lapped up all that she could, while being very grateful Batgirl did not squeeze her head off form her position. As she cooled down from her orgasm, Harley grinned and asked her “Well, had enough yet?”

    Batgirl returned the grin with an even more eager one. “Oh no. I’m just getting warmed up.” Jumping off of Harley, Batgirl moved over to the dresser next to the bed and pulled a door open. Harley’s eyes would go wide with shock as she would see what Batgirl produced from within: a large black strap on…with the bat symbol at the buckle. As Batgirl fastened it onto her waist, Harley moaned out “Where the hell did you get that wonderful toy?”

    “A gift from Wonder Woman.” was Batgirl’s answer. Grabbing Harley's hips tightly, Batgirl pushed herself into Harley and watched as a very huge grin was plastered on her face. “Oh boy…remind me to thank the Amazon later.”




    “WOW.” Ivy whistled as she Harley finished her tale. “I didn’t think the compound would produce those kind of results. How long did it last?”

    “If I figure right, we were at it for at least 4 hours or so, give or take.” Harley sighed. “Whoever she beds next, they better be more powerful than a locomotive if you catch my drift.”

    “Noted. Well, at least you escaped with some relatively good memories. Pity about the job though.”

    “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Harley smiled as he held up one of the broaches. “It did wear off and after she came to her senses, and 3 more times, we agreed just to leave quietly and never mention this to anyone else.”

    “But you’re mentioning it to me.”

    “You don’t count. It’s partially your fault!” Harley said, pointing a finger at her friend. Ivy raised an eyebrow. “Uh, you DID take the compound with a huge warning label, you realize.”

    “I figure she must have forgotten I had these in my pouch when she left, at least I hope so. Now I don’t know what you’re gonna do, but I’m headed right to Miami. If I’m getting laid again, I want it to be with some college kid who needs a little sweet lovin’!”

    “You do that. I think I need to pull one more heist before I go into hiding.”

    “No, you are NOT gonna try to do the same thing with Batman. Go seduce Robin or someone else.”

    “Spoilsport.”




    “So…how was your weekend with Starfire?” Bruce asked Dick as he sat at the breakfast table with the one known in Bludhaven as Nightwing, now visiting Wayne Manor. The long haired former partner of Batman looked at Bruce carefully as he told him “In case you want to know, things are going slowly with us. We just joined the Justice League now, and things are complicated. Of course, I could ask you about things with Diana…”

    “It’s even more complicated on my end. “Bruce shot back. “Especially given she could crush me with her hips.”

    “You probably could ask Clark for advice.”

    “I dread that conversation.” Bruce admitted. “And then there’s Selina to consider.” As they continued to talk, Barbara walked in, yawning as she told the two “Perhaps if the two of you tried talking more with women, you’d figure it out instead of blindly stumbling through these things.”

    “Long night?” Bruce asked.

    “Yeah, and I rather not get into it. If anyone needs me, I will be in Miami enjoying myself.” As she walked off, carrying a freshly popped up slice of toast in the process, Dick asked Bruce “Any reason why there is a small bit of white makeup on her face?”

    “It’s Harley Quinn related.”

    “Ah. So, do we ask—“

    It’s Harley Quinn related” Bruce stressed.

    "Ah...then we probably should let it go."

  • #2
    Will check that closely soon but seems promising (well, BTAS is ALWAYS Promising)
    A Bicurious Guy Who Loves Girl-Girl Love

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