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The Fairly Odd Parents- Fangs A Lot

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  • The Fairly Odd Parents- Fangs A Lot

    AUTHOR'S NOTE:

    Hey, guess what? You're about to read a never before released story!!

    To clarify, there was supposed to be a Halloween Jam for the WWOEC Forum, but we never got it done in time. One of the stories was put up here at the TJA Forum by Katie, so here is mine.

    We all had to pick a general theme for each tale, and mine was vampires. This also is a tribute/parody of sorts to a certain classic game series that was made by a game company that forgot it was a game company. And yes, a certain cosmic entity from Oregon is here too...




    Out of all the places in the continental United States, Dimmsdale was possibly the very last place anyone would ever want to go to celebrate Halloween. It wasn’t because of a lack of fun attractions and parties, oh no, there were plenty of those. But it was due to many rather unearthly events that seemed to occur during this time period. The majority of it could be traced, if one was to do some serious investigating, to one particular person: Timmy Turner. The young man had a habit of letting his boredom or anger get the best of him and make some rather dubious choices when this holiday came around. The last wish that he made for Halloween certainly was evidence of that. (Let’s just say Timmy knows full well now how to deal with a Barrow Wight)

    However this year’s events were not because of his irresponsible actions or selfish wishing nor his raging libido. (Well, actually the libido thing will come into play, but much later…) What Timmy had to endure came about as the result of a being with his own petty reasons for showing up in his town. But maybe it’s best if we see how this came about though…

    TWO NIGHTS BEFORE ALL HALLOWS EVE


    The road to Dimmsdale was dark and seemingly foreboding in the cover of night. That was the lingering thought of the truck driver as he drove his small semi down the concrete strip that weaved through the dark forest. It was midnight and the bearded portly man was bushed. He had been traveling for at least 10 hours now, with unknown cargo in tow, heading to what he was told was an ‘important research thinktank’ in Spokane. “Yeah, thinktank, is that what those nerds are calling it now?” he yawned as he rubbed his chin, fighting off the urge to sleep. He was almost at Dimmsdale and soon he would stop there to rest, get some of the local pancakes in his belly and be on his not really merry way. “Least they paid me up front.” The trucker grumbled as he looked up at the full moon. The driver grunted as he gazed up, amused by the pale blue color that the moon had exhibited tonight. “You know, when you’re out on the open road like this, you never really get to appreciate the beauty of the cosmos.”

    While this thought was most profound, it would quickly be wiped away by the following: A long black line seemingly slid upon the surface of the moon, giving it the appearance of a single serpentine eye. And it was then that a voice said to the trucker “Funny, I’d never pegged you for the philosophical type! Funny what the universe holds!” The trucker naturally did what any rational person would do at this point when confronted with a seemingly random cosmic encounter; he screamed in terror at the top of his lungs, and completely ignored the tree he was 3 seconds from crashing into at the height of his panic.

    A few minutes later, Bill Cipher materialized over the wreckage of the semi. The pyramid shaped top hat wearing being shook his head as he remarked “Oh well, so much for flapjacks. Although in your case it would be literal. Now then, let’s see if who I think is in there is indeed in there.” Whistling cheerfully, he phased through the trailer and entered the interior to find himself inside with a lot of crates, all tightly tied together and labeled 'DO NOT OPEN UNDER PENALTY OF LAW'. But there was only one item he was looking for. And it was not a crate.

    Standing out among the cargo was a lone pine coffin, with various chains and paper wards adorning it. “Now this is just not right!” Bill observed. “How could they possibly waste a perfectly good seal like this on someone like him? I really should rectify this sad scenario.” And so he did; his eye briefly became blood red as he shot a yellow beam of energy and burned off the seals, the chains shortly becoming undone as if unlocked by an invisible hand. Second later, the coffin would shudder and the lid would immediately fly off as a long slender figure emerged from within. He was clad in black clothes, a ebony cape hugging his frame and long, white hair dropped across his shoulders, His eyes glowed an unearthly shade of gold as he looked all about him. “It seems that I am free to walk among the living once again.” the being said to no one in particular. “Who do I have to thank for this?”

    “That would be me, Drac old pal!” Bill floated in front of him. Dracula narrowed his eyes as he saw the being in question and said “Oh no, it’s YOU. Have you not already done enough damage?”

    “Aww, don’t be a spoil sport here, Tepes. We had some fun times together.”

    “Yes, up until you abandoned me in Transylvania. I am not the forgiving type Cipher. Whatever it is you want, you can do on your own!”

    “Well, what if I told you what I want is for you to resume what you’ve been doing up until then?” Bill proposed. The vampire looked at Bill quizzically. “You mean stalk the maidens and cause general chaos? What’s the catch Bill, I know how you operate.”

    “Oh nothing really…just make this upcoming Halloween something the rubes of the local township will never forget. At least not happily.” Bill continued. “Halloween’s lost the edge it once had and I decided to liven up a few places. And since you seem to be passing through, why not start here?”

    “I do need to start my empire anew. I have had my share of rather unpleasant experiences lately, with various hunters and pesky exorcists. Plus, with all the bad publicity from certain books and movies, the Nosferatu are not looking too good. I will need a town that is rife with conflict and social awkwardness. Where am I now?”

    “On the outskirts of some Podunk backwater ‘berg called Dimmsdale.” Bill answered.

    “Perfect.”


    THE NEXT DAY…

    Timmy Turner sighed in relief as he finally sat down on the bench in one of the halls of Dimmsdale High. The day had been long and, unexpectedly, stressful. Having been part of the Halloween Dance committee was an unexpected thing to occur, but the planning and details he had to trudge through was more than he initially expected. Finding proper lights, decorations, music, food and performers was not as easy as he believed and to complicate matters, most of the orders had to come from obscure specialty stores (who knew there were so many different types of webs for movie sets?) But amazingly, the young man pulled through and everything was finally coming together. Fortunately he had some pretty good back up.

    “See, I told you I had some guys who could come through for us!” Chester proudly proclaimed to his friend, puffing his chest in pride as he leaned against the lockers next to the bench. Standing besides him was A.J., who rolled his eyes and pointed “Sure, let’s just ignore the fact that what these guys provided for us would possibly be classified as illegal in certain states now.”

    “I never said that what we would be doing would be ethical.” Chester shot back.

    “I’m just glad the hard part is over!” Timmy sighed. “Now comes the trivial stuff, like picking a costume.”

    “Why not go as Crash Nebula this year?” A.J. asked. Timmy shook his head and replied “Nah, I haven’t seen any real good Crash Nebula costumes, and after the reboot I’ve been kind of wary of the show.”

    “It’s been years since I’ve seen it.” Chester mused. “But why did they reboot it anyway, it was awesome how it was!” A.J. rubbed his chin and said to him “Well, strictly speaking, the writers felt that the original show was too generic, especially the origin story of Crash. They felt like the story had become almost exactly like the writers other works so they decided that giving him more grounded beginnings would be a good idea. Besides, didn’t you find it odd that the writer seemed to always have it in for almost every rich kid or adult?”

    “Good point.” Timmy concurred “and at least they made Ani a little more social.”

    “Ok then what about the Crimson Chin?” Timmy shook his head “Nah, that’s always my safe choice and I wanna try something different. Besides, we already had a ‘Crimson Chin’ contest at Dimmsdale Comic Con!”

    “I still can’t believe someone came as Super Mario Crimson Chin…or Sailor Chin…”A.J. shuddered as he curled up in a ball. “It’s ok A.J., they’re locked away…they can’t hurt you anymore…they will never get out…”

    Both Chester and Timmy exchanged glances, remembering the Vow and the events of The Day We Will Never Speak of Again. “Ok since Crimson Chin is right out, I am open to suggestions!”

    “I’ve got one.” The voice came out of the cardboard box that was right next to Timmy. Timmy turned to it and asked “Just how long were you waiting to do that this time?” Seconds later, out of said box popped out his long time admirer/part time fangirl and Vicky's sister, Tootie. In her arms was a manila colored envelope. “Oh long enough to hear you talk about your lack of interest in a franchise that hasn’t been worked on since the creator made that dog and cat show.” Tootie summed up. “And I just happened to have a great idea for your costume!”

    “Well, I’ll let you two lovebirds go on and continue your discussion. I’ve got some work of my own to do.” Chester sighed as he picked up his book bag. “I swear, if it wasn’t because of Francis going missing, I’d be a little more annoyed right now.”

    “Wait, hold on. Francis is missing?”

    “Yup. He was supposed to help me get the music ready but he up and disappeared on me. The guy may be a bully and unable to resolve problems without using his fist, but he’s actually reliable and never flaked out on his appointments. Guess I’ll call up Elmer to sort this out.” As Chester departed, A.J. remarked “Now that he mentions it, Veronica has gone missing too.”

    “I’m fairly certain it’s nothing.” Tootie said. “The girl’s kind of, and I’m putting this mildly, a little loopy, and she needs to take off school from time to time.”

    “I know…but her parents reported her missing.” A.J. replied. “I’m hoping its nothing but I’ve got a gut feeling about this.” As A.J. picked himself up, he said to the two “Well, you two have important boyfriend-girlfriend stuff to discuss—“

    “NO WE DON’T!!”

    “—so I’ll take my leave.” As A.J. departed, Timmy sighed and asked Tootie “Alright then, what the heck did you get me for Halloween?”

    “Considering that you actually did take the time to help me with my short story for last year’s contest, I had this made for you. It’s a awesome costume and I think you will fit right in.” Tootie handed Timmy the manilla envelope and smiled enthusiastically as Timmy opened it and said “A costume huh? As long as it’s nothing like what Remy tried to bring last year I’m sure I---OH GOD NO!!” Timmy blushed as he quickly stuffed the envelope’s contents back in and Tootie asked “Uh, are you ok? It wasn’t that bad of a—“

    “Uh Tootie? It’s a picture of you that you took and—“

    “Opps. Sorry I thought I had deleted that one. I’ll just—“

    “No on, I’ll uh, dispose of it for you.” Timmy whistled as he hastily stuffed the envelope into his jacket, sweating bullets as he tried to feign indifference. Tootie frantically searched her pockets until she came across the right envelope and handed it to Timmy, who opened it and replied “Hey, this is pretty awesome. I think I’ll consider it.”

    “Consider it nothing! It’s already bought and paid for!” Tootie smiled as a large box was tossed into Timmy’s hands. Timmy sighed and asked her “You know, at the very least you can consult with me before making these purchases!!”

    “This is you we’re talking about, lover boy. You’d probably would have gotten some half assed project at the last minute if I didn’t intervene.” Tootie retorted. Timmy’s shoulders slumped. She knew him all too well.

    Unknown to them however, their conversation was being monitored. Nearby, a tall figure in black and wearing sunglasses observed them, quietly sipping from a juice box. He was unnoticed by most of the people passing by him…except for one particular long bodied lanky teacher. “Excuse me,” Crocker grunted “but if any menacing figure is going to stare obsessively at Timmy Turner while making ominous plans it’s going to be me.”

    The man in black turned to face Crocker, removing his sunglasses. A pair of pale eyes stared directly into Crocker’s and a cold voice said to him “I believe you have other matters to address, particularly with your colleague Principal Waxoplax.”

    Crocker blinked once and, in a mysteriously clear voice, said “I believe I do have something to discuss with her.” Seconds later, he turned and walked away.

    6 months later the two of them were happily married. But we’re not gonna ever talk about that.



    Timmy yawned as he entered his bedroom, the package given to him by Tootie in his hands. “Ok, finally, I can sit down on my bed and relax for once. So, how was your day guys?”

    The question was posed to the two fairies that were currently inhabiting his room: Cosmo and Wanda. Wanda was currently at a floating console, a pair of pink headphones on her head as she said “Sorry sport, but I can’t talk for too long. We seem to have trouble communicating with Fairy World now.”

    “Can’t you just use your wands to do that?”

    “Normally yes, but they’ve been on the fritz since last night. Cosmo’s been working to try to beef up the strength, but so far it seems to be a losing effort.” At that, Wanda pointed over to where Cosmo was at; next to the window with both their wands hooked to a lightning rod.

    “Come on baby, Cosmo needs 1.21 gigawatts to get this party started.”

    Wanda sighed and reminded Cosmo “The sky’s been clear for the past 2 nights, I think lightning is out of the question” Timmy arched an eyebrow. “Is there something going on that I should know about? And keep in mind, I normally don’t ask about this kind of thing but around this time of the year crazy stuff seem to happen.”

    “Well, since you took the time to ask, yes something weird is going on. Our magic’s been reacting to something weird. We’ve been having trouble conjuring up the simplest of things. Cosmo tried to poof up a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich for lunch and this is what we came up with!” The door to his closet opened and to his horror, Timmy found Poof standing at guard, a high powered assault rifle in hand. In a cage was a red eyed, drooling bull, snorting fire from its nostrils and trying in vain to escape its confines.

    “I take it this is the only thing that has happened that I should know about, right?”

    Cosmo, Wanda and Poof each exchanged nervous glances before Wanda said “In any case, magic like ours isn’t exactly interfered with, other than a possible stronger source emanating from somewhere. I’m afraid we may have a situation on our hands.”

    “Nah, it can’t be that serious.” Cosmo rationalized. “If it was really serious, Jorgen would have used the emergency fairy elevator to get here and deliver the news himself.”

    Seconds later after Cosmo let his thoughts be heard, a large rectangular object crashed through the ceiling of Timmy’s room. The black elevator left a cloud of dust and debris all about the room and the doors slid open with a delightful ‘ding’ as the statuesque commander of the fairies stepped out. “Turner!” Jorgen boomed, “we have a grave situation.”

    “I blame you, Cosmo.” Wanda sighed as Jorgen continued. “I’ve been trying to contact you for a few hours, but it seems that something is interfering with our magic. I’m afraid it’s worse than I feared.”

    “It’s been the same on our end too.” Timmy informed Jorgen, pointing to the closet. Jorgen took one glance and said to no one in particular “Another Philly Cheesesteak gone awry. But enough about that. I’m afraid we have bigger problems. It seems that your town may have a vampire in your midst.”

    Timmy cocked an eyebrow. “Oh please, those sparkly wimps? We can handle them!”

    “FOOL!” Jorgen boomed, “Those knock offs are just the result of a woman’s failed fan fiction attempts made real. This however, and pardon my French, is a REAL fucking vampire!” Jorgen then pulled out an old parchment depicting a vampire. “This looks pretty ancient.” Timmy observed.

    “That’s because the history of vampires is a very long and gruesome one, sport.” Wanda warned her godchild. “While there are many types in various sections of your world, the one we’re dealing with seems to be the one that most of your authors are familiar with.”

    “Not only that, they have magic as well. And not the cool kind of Vegas magic.” Cosmo added.

    “The magic some of these vampires possess is some of the most potent out there. Enough to interfere with our own.” Jorgen continued. “And right now, it seems a very powerful one is beginning to set up shop here in Dimmsdale!”

    “And just in time for Halloween too.” Timmy concluded. “Something tells me this is no coincidence.”

    “Indeed!” Jorgen agreed. “So, it’s up to you to track down the vampire and eliminate it at all costs!” Timmy waved his hands and asked “Whoa, hold the phone! Why me? Couldn’t you get that Buffy girl to do it?”

    “She’s got her own problems to deal with. “ Jorgen shook his head. “We have to work with what we have. I suggest starting in the morning ASAP!”

    “Why not now?”

    “Are you crazy? Hunting a vampire at night when they are at their strongest?! Why not just put a sword to your neck while you’re at it? Now I must be going. Someone has to scramble the fairies for a tactical airstrike in the most likely event that you screw this up!” Jorgen then stepped back inside the elevator and gripped his giant wand as it raced back upwards to the sky. Timmy shrugged his shoulders as he said “I guess I’m going to need to do some research on vampires to get started,”

    “And I just happen to have the right book for the job!” Cosmo beamed as he poofed up a book in his hands. Wanda looked on in disbelief at the tome her husband held and said “Is that book made of human skin and written in blood?”

    “Uh…yeah.”

    “NO!! I remember the last time you had access to that!” Wanda growled, grabbing it and pitching it into a convenient black hole hidden behind Timmy’s clock.

    “And besides I have something better to do my research with.” Timmy pointed out as he sat at his desk and turned on the computer. “But we’ll have to work fast. We have no idea what this vampire has in store for us.”



    Vicky sat on the park bench in the dimly lit public park, a notepad in her hand. Now you may wonder just precisely why a young woman like her would do something decidedly risky like that, and under most circumstances no one would. However, given her easily activated berserker tendencies and aptitude for violence if someone was to try to attack her, we will just say any mugger that attempted to get to her would be instead loaded up on a gurney and transported to the local hospital in a matter of moments.

    “Now let’s see…I have this group of kids supplying me with candy corn…this group here will be giving me their chocolate bars…Ah, the jellybeans. I gotta decide which ones will give me that stash. Damn, it’s a shame this holiday rolls around once a year!” Vicky sighed. “Oh well, at least the Christmas blackmail duties are coming along nicely.”

    As she jotted down another name of some unfortunate soul to torment, the lights around her began to flicker. Looking up annoyed, she growled “This is just perfect. What else can go wrong tonight?” Stuffing the notepad angrily into her bag, Vicky looked up to see, standing a few short feet in front of her, was Dracula, dressed in a neatly pressed suit with long cape. “Good evening, fair lass!” he smiled as he spoke in a almost soothing voice, “I was wondering if you have the time to entertain a stranger from out of town?” Slowly, Vicky looked him up and down, then nodded “Ah, a vampire. I was hoping one of you guys would show up.”

    “Uh, pardon?”

    “Look buddy, I know a vampire when I see one and you are IT.” Vicky then raised her pocket mirror in front of her to emphasize her point; if anyone was to walk past the two for a moment and glance towards them, they would notice the lack of reflection for Dracula. Dracula snapped his fingers and said “Ok, so much for the suave approach then. I like it when we get to the point.”

    “Whoa, hold on there buster! I don’t bare my neck for just any old bloodsucker. I have some ground rules.”

    “I can’t seriously believe we’re negotiating.”

    “You wanna create some chaos and havoc right? So do I. But we can at least be civilized about it.”

    “Good point. Join with me and I’ll make you my second in command. The girls I already found are a little wet behind the ears so to speak. Plus, we can do it like rabbits in heat in almost any place we can sneak into. Ever did it on the ceiling of a abandoned church?”

    “Hmm, kinky…” Vicky mused. “Ok. But I also want a giant bat.”

    “Meh, that comes standard.” Dracula said as he rolled his eyes. “I’ll give you two, I am a gentleman.”

    “Plus, I think we can do with one other person on our side. If I know how these kind of things are gonna go down, I know a certain meddling kid will be on my case. We need to keep him distracted properly…”



    ALL HALLOWS EVE…


    It was a high pitched, ear splitting screech that woke Timmy up from his slumber on the desk. He wiped away the drool that has dribbled from his mouth and lips as he shouted “I SWEAR I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE PEARS---oh whew, just a dream..”

    Timmy rubbed his eyes as he stared at the computer screen before him, the lit up monitor adorned with words detailing the weaknesses of various vampires. Looking around him, he asked “Did anyone else here the sounds of terror coming from somewhere?” Looking towards the window where Cosmo and Wanda were floating, Wanda motioned for him to come closer and replied “We may have a pretty good idea about that, sport.” Timmy, wary of the look on her face, rose from his seat and peeked outside. What made him gasp was indeed a rather unnerving site; various homes were now ablaze and people were trapped in a state of panic and fear as they fled for their lives, being stalked and pursued by various monsters and apparitions. As a pale grey transparent skull passed by his window, Timmy said to his godparents “I’d be unnerved by all this but this is happening at 2 in the morning.”

    “About that…you might wanna look at your watch.” Cosmo informed him. Timmy did indeed do as he was told and his eyes went wide. “What the heck—it’s 8:45!! But why does it look like its barely past midnight?!”

    “I’m afraid that the vampire’s influence is spreading far more than we thought it would, and much faster too!!” Wanda reasoned. “We need to get to a church, fast!”

    “Good idea!” Timmy agreed. As he grabbed his book bag, the wall to his room exploded, or to be specific the wall next to the door of his room. Before Timmy could register a thought, from the debris stalked in the bully Francis. However, Francis was changed; his skin was a darker shade of grey now, his eyes crimson and burning bright. In his hands was a large hammer, caked with dried blood. “Turner,” he growled, “I’ve been meaning to hammer out a few details of today’s events with you.”

    “Horrible pun aside, this is not a good time. “ Timmy sighed. “And what happened to you?”

    “Let’s just say I’ve had been exploring a new job offer. One of my duties now is to keep you from butting in to my master’s plan. I figured that the best way to do that is by rendering you living impaired.”

    “Not a fan of that plan. But I do know of the appropriate response to that.” And with that, the door to his closet was kicked out as Poof leveled his automatic weapon and opened fire, spraying Francis with a full magazine. The surprise volley of bullets knocked him back and send Francis flying into the opposing wall outside, where he slowly slumped down against the wall. “Good work Poof!” Timmy said to the firearm sporting young fairy. “Guess we can rule out our enemy not knowing about my plans though. Lets get out of here before anything else…goes…wrong…”

    Timmy’s eyes went wide in shock. Francis slowly rose from his spot on the wall, grunting as blood seemingly oozed from the bullet holes dotting his chest and head, smiling as he noted “Wow, hollow point bullets sting worse than I imagined. I sure hope that you have a better strategy than that.”

    “Just one, now that you mention it.”

    5 seconds later, Timmy landed in the front lawn of his house, after making the tactical decision to exit his room via diving out his window. Wincing in pain as he struggled to get up, he noted “Yeah, this was as painful as I expected it to be.” Cosmo, Wanda and Poof, now in the guise of bats, flew down next to him as Cosmo wondered “Anyone else notice something different about Francis lately?”

    “Other than being undead, not really.” Timmy shot back. The group would soon be joined by Francis as he lept down a few feet from Timmy, his hammer still in hand. “Now then, lets continue where we left off upstairs.” he snarled. Raising his weapon high. Timmy braced himself, frantically thinking of a possible way to slow him down when suddenly a cold voice interrupted his thoughts.

    “Perhaps I could be of some assistance.”

    Timmy whirled around. Behind him stood a man in a black suit with long black hair, an aloof expression on his face. “Timmy Turner? I would like to have a few moments of your time. It’s rather vital you come with me.”

    “Sorry, but the soon to be dead shrimp has an appointment with me.” Francis told the man, eyeing him carefully. He did not seem very dangerous to the revenant, at the very least his looks made him appear more suited for modeling if anything. The tall man merely raised his hand and said to Francis “I’m sorry, but I do not have time to humor you. Walk away now and you may yet live to see the sunrise.”

    “Well, here’s my counter offer.” Francis roared as he dashed towards the two. The tall man, not moving one inch from his location, kept his cool and, as he approached closer, uttered under his breath “Seele stehlen.” At that moment, Francis’ body froze. Several balls of green light flew from his body, and before Timmy’s eyes, into the hands and body of the tall man behind him. As the last of the small lights was absorbed, Francis had transformed; his body became completely ash grey and the lights of his eyes dimmed. Timmy looked on in shock as his body erupted in flames and he disintegrated, the wind scattering his remains all over. The tall man adjusted his tie and said “We do not have much time. Quickly, let us find hallowed ground.”

    “What the hell was that?! Who are you?”

    “I’m surprised Jorgen did not tell you. My name is…Genya Arikado. Please, follow me.”



    The large chamber where she currently stood was decorated quite well, given just how much time that he had to redesign it. Then again, he was a Vampire Lord after all. Redesigning was part of their hobbies.

    The robed girl, face obscured by a large black hood, stood before Dracula, who had been seated in a large ornate throne in the room, listening to his servant as she had laid out the news of the day’s raid. “So far, as you have commanded, your forces have spread out all over the town,” she continued, “and we have captured a large percentage of the populace.”

    “Ah, splendid. I do expect there is some resistance on their part though.” Dracula pointed out.”

    “Indeed. We will have no trouble stopping them though, my lord.” Dracula nodded and replied “I hope not. But I sense another presence in this town. Similar to mine. I’m sure I have an idea of who it may be and he will become a burden to me if he comes here.”

    “Shall we take care of it?”

    “No my dear. Your presence is required here at the castle. We already know who will pop up sooner or later and he needs to be welcomed properly.”

    “Very well. However, just one other thing…” the robed girl raised her hand and pointed, asking “DOES SHE REALLY NEED TO BE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?!”

    If you were to zoom all the way out to a better view in this scene, you would be seeing the following; before him on her knees was Vicky, in a long black flowing dress, with a revealing cleavage that left very little to the imagination. She currently was occupied with the task at hand, her mouth wrapped around the cock of the dark lord, slowly bobbing her head up and down, her saliva glistening in the candlelight. Vicky took a moment to remove it from her mouth and lick the head, Dracula explained “You have to understand, my dear, it’s been, well, AGES since I last laid with a woman-oh yes, very good!!—so I must indulge myself for some time.”

    “I’ve kinda been a bit horny myself.” Vicky said. “So back off, kiddo. Go find yourself some werewolf to noodle around with!”

    “Thank you but no. I have no needs to sully myself with any of those drooling fur-balls.” The robed girl snorted.

    “Trust me, it’s for the best. Ok Vicky, lets stop with the foreplay and move on to the real fun.” Dracula smiled. Vicky, eager as they come, quickly rose from her spot and turned around,lifting her dress hem up to expose her dripping wet bottom. She gasped in contentment as she took her seat, feeling the large pulsing member of Dracula enter her and smiled as he gripped her breasts and pushed the fabric aside. Dracula grunted as he began trusting, her pussy taking a tight hold on his cock. “We’re going to be at this for a while, so please see yourself out.”

    “And I thought this couldn’t get more depraved.“ she sighed.



    Timmy say down with Genya at the table as the two of them settled down inside the ruins of the church that they found. “It was rather troubling when we lost track of the truck which carried Dracula.” Genya explained, “but when we noted huge changes to the town’s psychokinetic readings we had to act accordingly.”

    “Before we go any further, we need to address a few things. Namely, how you know about Jorgen!” Timmy said to Genya. Genya smiled. “Surely you do not believe that only children were aware of the paranormal?”

    “I was under the impression that this sort of knowledge was erased from our memories when we became older.”

    “I assure you it’s not. I am from a group that monitors all matters of the paranormal. There are other splinter groups to be sure, but ours has been around for longer than I can mention. We are very aware of the existence of fairies, like the ones with you right now.”

    “Wait, WHAT?” Cosmo, Wanda and Poof reverted back to their base forms as Genya replied “Have none of you found it odd that no one else has done any extensive investigations as a result of the fallout from many of your actions and wishes?”

    “We thought it was convenient Deus Ex Machina rearing its head at a weekly basis.” Cosmo admitted.

    “No. We have quite an influence on law enforcement and certain branches in the government.” Genya answered. “That said, your secret is always safe.”

    “That takes a load off. But this still does not explain why a vampire is here.”

    “I did investigate the crash site where I found the truck, and I have an idea.” Genya continued. “It seems as though Dracula was freed from his confines by an inter dimensional being. The truck driver, before he lost his life, was very descriptive of what he saw.”

    “Why would an inter dimensional being want to mess with us?” Wanda asked. “It’s Halloween. Chaos gods are more likely to spread mischief this time.” Genya said to her.

    “Ok, so all we have to do is stop Dracula from spreading out and making everything worse. Nothing I can’t handle.” Timmy reasoned. “Just have to contend with the fact that my fairy god parents can’t use their magic properly because of his dark influence and there is an army of monsters between me and—seriously, how did I not notice the castle at the other end of town?! But you can help right?”

    “I’m afraid my assistance is quite limited.” Genya sighed. “We need to keep the demons here from going any further than the town limits. I already have some people out now fighting off the current threat. But I believe I have already provided you with adequate equipment.”

    “Huh?”

    “I had sold some items that you will need to an female friend of yours, who gave it to you yesterday, Look in the box.” Timmy reached into the box in question and whistled. “Wow. This is some heavy duty gear.”

    “The weapon is silver and enchanted, highly effective against the undead. There are some other items you can use in order to fight, but use them wisely. I gave these to you as I believe you are the most qualified to wield them. Now let’s hurry. Our enemy will no doubt be waiting for you.”

    “I know. I just hope 5 hours reading up on every vampire legend I could find will help me!”

    “I am sure it will. Wikipedia is surprisingly accurate in these matters.”



    The town of Dimmsdale has many different sites to explore and inhabit. One of them was something that no one really paid heed to; namely the old abandoned European style castle at the edge of Dimmsdale Forest. Built by local billionaire Doug Dimmadome on a whim, the castle had been evacuated year before due to a rampant bat and vole infestation. (Don’t ask why there were voles. Just…don’t. It was way too creepy to recount) And it was this castle where Dracula decided to take up residence. Upon arriving there, Dracula set to work, summoning various monsters from the underworld and from the very conveniently located tomb to do his bidding. The voles however he left alone. They were already vicious enough.

    At the gates leading to the castle, a small squadron of skeleton soldiers, led by a large werewolf, stood at attention. “Listen up, boneheads!” the werewolf bellowed, much to the annoyance of the skeletons, “the boss is expecting some humans to come around and try to stop him. We are the first line of defense, so don’t even think of falling apart on me!”

    “Your puns are bad and you should feel bad!” a voice shouted.

    “Hey, when you get to lead your own squad of the undead, you can make your own rules!” A suit of armor quickly ran up to the werewolf and shouted “We’ve got someone heading this way!! Looks like a carriage being drawn by a pair of pink and green horses!”

    “That must be one of them now! Get ready to—wait pink and green? Why the hell are they—“

    Whatever the werewolf commander wanted to say was interrupted as the carriage that Cosmo and Wanda drove crashed through the gates leading to the castle, while at the same time crushing some of the skeletons underfoot. From the rear of the carriage lept out Timmy; he was now clad in a long blue overcoat and brown leather gloves and boots. The belt he had on was equipped with a pouch and in his hands was a long chain whip made of silver with a spiked ball at the end. As he ran towards the doors of the castle, from the ground rose the werewolf, annoyed at the mess that Timmy made. “Not so fast there boy! Think you can get the drop on me? Think again!”

    “Technically, I rode over you that but that’s beside the point—ONE SIDE VAMPIRE KILLER COMING THROUGH!!

    The werewolf lunged at Timmy, but he was well prepared; at the last second, Timmy sideswiped the claw strike and let loose with a quick lash, striking the werewolf quickly and decisively in the head. The werewolf fell to the ground dead, blood seeping from the wound and onto the ground as Timmy continued to make his journey into the castle grounds, kicking the door in. He found himself now in the main hall, surrounded by various monsters of all shapes and sizes. Above him, floating was Vicky, smiling with a very sadistic grin, flanked by two large vampire bats. “Ah, the twerp. Just in time for the party. And quite a look that you got there, Don’t care too much about the over coat though.”

    “Somehow, I’m not surprised that you were turned into a vampire.” Timmy said to her.

    “Actually, I volunteered.” Vicky admitted. “But I did find some people that were recruited by my very studly host. You may recognize some of them by the way.”

    “I do not like where this is headed.” Timmy muttered under his breath.

    “They’re in the bedchambers on the 3rd floor f you want to save them…that is if you can!!” Vicky cackled as she rose up further. “By the way, like my new pets? They are dying to play with you!!” Vicky disappeared as the group of monsters all began to surround him. “Uh oh…this could get tricky.” Timmy gulped.



    45 MINUTES, 4 BOSS FIGHTS, 1 CUTSCENE AND 3 LEVELS LATER…



    “Oh thank GOD!!! I thought I never would make it out of the clock tower!!” Timmy gasped as he approached the doors to the bed chamber. “Seriously, I thought fighting off Cerebus was bad enough, but the Grim Reaper was ridiculous! Ok, time to save me a hostage or two.”

    The door to the chamber was pushed open by Timmy warily as he entered inside. Within was a large bed draped with black satin sheets. The room was illuminated by only a few candles and at the edge of the bed sat a figure, presumably a girl, in a purple robe. Timmy nervously waved his hand. “Uh, hi there. I don’t suppose that you’re in need of aid there, are you? I’m kinda new to this line of work.”

    “Timmy…I see you’re wearing the costume I bought for you. I’m happy you remembered!”

    That voice…

    “Tootie. Is that you?”

    The figure raised her hands to remove the hood from her head. Indeed, it was Tootie, but her hair was down and it flowed across her shoulders. The young girl nodded as she said “Of course it is my love. I would not abandon you for any reason, even if the world will soon end.”

    “That’s a relief. For a second there, I thought Dracula did something to you and---oh no, wait. I’ve seen enough bad vampire movies to know where this is headed.” Timmy growled. Narrowing his eyes, Timmy looked at the side of her neck and his fears/suspicions were confirmed; there were two small puncture marks on her. “If you will excuse me, I need to be going.”

    “And where will you go my dear?”

    “I’m going to personally rearrange every bone in that bastard’s body. No one is putting the moves on my girlfriend while I’m still around!” Timmy angrily turned around, his grip tightening on the whip handle and a blush creeping on his face at the realization of what he said. He was going to get vengeance for Tootie one way or another…

    Well he would if he could leave. The doors to the bedroom slammed shut in his face and Tootie’s voice turned downright eerie. “It’s touching you would do that for me darling, but he is my master now. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t be together FOREVER!!”

    Timmy turned to see that Tootie had dropped the robe and revealed herself in a form fitting black dress of her own, the v-neck cleavage drawing attention to her chest area. She smiled at Timmy, baring a set of fangs that grew as she gazed at him. Timmy reached for his pouch but before he could do anything she was on him, her hands wrapped around his waist and gripping him tightly. Before she could sink her teeth into his jugular, Timmy grasped her shoulders, desperately keeping her at bay. “Come on Tootie, FIGHT IT!! This is insane!!”

    “No, what’s insane is you denying me what I crave!!” Tootie growled. “Join me Timmy! Together we can rule over all along with Lord Dracula!! Surrender your neck to me my love!”

    “I gotta stop watching Hammer movies with you!” Timmy gasped. The strength that she had now was far greater than she normally displayed whenever she had him in a hug. He felt his strength waning and he knew soon there was only one way this was going to end. He needed to get her focus on something, anything, other than making him one of the undead…

    And then that was when he developed a small nosebleed. It was a long shot but if anything resembling her personality was still a part of her now, it would work. Taking a deep breath, Timmy said “Ok Tootie…if this is how its going to end grant me one last request!”

    “And that would be?” With that slight moment of hesitation, Timmy leaned in and kissed Tootie passionately on the lips, catching the girl completely by surprise. Tootie broke off the kiss, gasping out “What is the meaning of—“

    “If I’m gonna go I wanna do it on my terms. And I decided I don’t wanna die a virgin!” He kissed her yet again and Tootie, confused, soon felt another urge. While taking his blood and making him her own was tempting, he was practically throwing himself at her.

    And she decided that was a good thing.

    She eagerly returned the kiss, her tongue meeting his as their hands roamed all over their bodies. She felt his hand slip underneath her dress and slide up and down over her mound roughly. She purred at the contact his hands made, and just as eagerly rubbed her hand over his groin, feeling him stiffen through the fabric of his trousers. His overcoat dropped to the floor as the two continued their passionate encounter. But Tootie wanted more, much much more. “I’m sorry Timmy, but I need to have you right now. So forgive me for doing this.”

    “Doing what?”

    5 seconds later, Timmy would find himself sailing through the air, landing in the center of his bed on his back. Before he could know what was transpiring, his trousers were yanked from his body and tossed aside, Tootie straddling his hips. Reaching down into his boxers, she slipped his penis out from the confines and rubbed the head against her entrance slowly, eliciting gasps of pleasure from both of them. “I suppose this will take precedence for now. Get ready Timmy, you’re going for the greatest, and last, ride of your human life!”

    “You’re getting way into this—WOW!!” Timmy yelped as Tootie pushed herself down onto his erection. Tootie howled in ecstasy as she began bouncing up and down on him, letting the ripples of pleasure race throughout her body. Timmy in turn kept a firm grip on her hips as she ripped off her dress, letting her breasts sway in the air. While he was enjoying the moment, he was mindful that he had to keep her focused on what they were doing otherwise—

    “Tootie have you done what was asked of you by Lord Dracu—WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!

    Turning his head to the doorway that led to the adjacent room, Timmy saw standing there in her own form fitting dress was Trixie Tang. The girl shook her head and said “Damn it!! Why can’t anyone in your family just keep their pants on?”

    “Uh…I can explain—OH GOD YES!!” Timmy yelped, surprised that Tootie was still focused on fucking him senseless.

    “I’m just---ohh---granting him his---OH FUCK—last request! No—UHH—ha-harm in that!” Tootie gasped, rubbing her breasts as she continued with her onslaught. “You’re not ENVIOUS I’m getting some before you, right?”

    “ME?” Trixie yelled. “Look, it’s not just right! I’ve way hotter than you and your sister and yet SOMEHOW you guys are getting more action than me, who I remind you had to reject several werewolves and mermen not to mention endure so many ‘boning’ jokes from them goons while being here! And I couldn’t even get to first base with Lord Dracula before Vicky butted in!! I HAVE NEEDS TOO DAMN IT!!

    “There’s room for one more, if you don’t mind sharing then.” Tootie pointed out, pointing to Timmy’s face. Trixie blinked. “On the one hand, I am supposed to help you convert Timmy to our side. On the other hand---FUCK IT I NEED THIS!!”

    Before Timmy could say a word, Trixie had placed her snatch over his mouth, ripping her clothes off and passionately kissing Tootie on the lips. Tootie would lean in and began to lick at one of her nipples as Trixie felt Timmy’s tongue enter her, eagerly brushing her clit as if his life depended on it. The moans of pleasure that escaped their lips filled his ears, giving Timmy hope that his plan was working.

    “YES!!” Tootie screamed at the top of her lungs as she came, her hands digging into his flesh. As her climax subsided and her body shuddered, she would remove herself from his lap. But it was a small respite as soon, Trixie would replace her. Trixie eagerly sat down on his cock, placing herself in a reverse cowgirl position and Tootie would straddle his head, saying to Timmy “I would like for you to extend the same courtesy that you did to my friend here, my love.”

    “I’m in no position to argue.” As Timmy plunged his tongue deep into Tootie’s entrance, another voice made its presence known. “Hey, are you two having a problem with Timmy? You haven’t come back yet and—Oh.“

    The three of them turned to see at the doorway stood Veronica in a dress just like Tootie and Trixie. The three of them exchanged glances before Trixie said “Uh, we can explain—“

    “I CALL NEXT!!” Veronica screamed as she ripped her dress apart. Diving towards the bed, she passionately kissed Trixie as she gleefully rubbed her clit and Timmy’s balls. Timmy grunted as he thought to himself This will take a while



    Dracula looked at his watch. “It’s been 3 hours now,” he noted. “I would have assumed he’d be here by now.” Vicky yawned. “I just hope my sister didn’t go overboard in breaking him in. The girl's had the hots for him since, geez, they were born!”

    “I find that hard to believe.” Dracula replied.

    “You should see her room.” Vicky pointed out. As they continued the conversation, the doors to his chamber were kicked in as Timmy walked inside. “All right, all right I’m here!!” Timmy gasped. “Lets get this over with already!” Dracula looked at Timmy and said “You seem…different than what I pictured. You look disheveled and a bit worn, plus you have a strange glow about you and—oh yes that explains it.”

    “What? What explains it?” Vicky asked.

    “I had to find a unique way to keep Tootie, Trixie and Veronica busy. And by ‘unique way’ I mean your sister wasn’t exactly innocent before she became a vampire and she sure as heck isn’t now.” Timmy said. "Also, I really needed to ice my groins so I had to take a slight detour before coming here.”

    “You did WHAT WITH MY SISTER?” Vicky growled. Dracula shifted his place in the chair and said “Now this should be fun. I guess I will leave things in your hands then, my dear.”

    “Oh you bet your finely toned and chiseled ass!!”

    “WAY more than I needed to here.” Timmy pointed out.

    “LIKE I CARE” she bellowed. “PREPARE YOURSELF, TWERP!! YOU’RE GOING TO GET A TASTE OF REAL POWER!!” Vicky cackled as a bright blood red circle of light surrounded her. Vicky disappeared and Timmy gripped the handle of his whip…and waited.

    And waited…

    And waited some more.

    After about 10 minutes, Timmy asked “Anyone know what just happened?”

    “I think she was trying to use one of my favorite spells. She was supposed to teleport around the room and throw fireballs at you. It’s really handy but you need precise control over it otherwise you could teleport yourself to somewhere completely random. I think we will not be seeing her for the end of our fight.”

    "Fine by me.” Timmy shrugged his shoulders. “I think I can handle a one on one fight with a vampire.”

    “Do you now? I do not think Wikipedia told you anything about THIS!!”

    Dracula rose from his seat and outstretched his arms. Before Timmy’s eyes, the Dark Lord of the Night began to change; he grew 5 times his size and became utterly hideous in appearance as he took on the shape of a large winged bat like creature. His mouth opened wide and instinctively Timmy dived out of the way as a huge skull shaped fireball was spat at him. Leaping up, Timmy lashed out with his whip and frantically struck at Dracula, forcing howls of pain from the demonic beast with each blow dealt. Dracula would respond by rearing back and punching Timmy hard in the chest, the force of the blow sending him screeching across the hall and into the wall nearby. As Dracula stomped across towards his location, poised to strike him down, Timmy gulped, saying to himself “Ok, this was WAY harder than I imagined it to be.” Struggling to get himself on his feet, from the window flapped in a pair of green and pink bats. “Cosmo..Wanda…where were you guys?”

    “We were kinda waylaid by some really nasty voles!” Wanda informed him. “Lets just say this place is in need of some serious extermination!”

    “Also, we came to give you this! You dropped it somewhere in the aqueducts.” Cosmo said as he dropped a small bottle of blue water into Timmy's hands. Timmy smiled as he said to Cosmo “Thanks, this is just what the doctor ordered!”

    “Who? Was Dr. Van Helsing here already?”

    Timmy raised his hands high and shouted “By the way Drac, did you know that tonight’s forecast called for a HYDRO STORM?!” The water within the bottle suddenly became as bright as the sun. Seconds later, a huge torrent of water rained down from the sky, bathing the demonic foe with blessed water, making him shriek in pain. Soon, he would shrink down and revert into his humanoid form before bursting into flames and falling at Timmy’s feet. As he slumped down and breathed a sigh of relief, Timmy said to his floating godparents “I think Jorgen will be pleased with how well I did today.”

    Seconds later, Timmy would learn just how pleased as the ceiling above Dracula’s remains exploded and the elevator crashed down on top of them, scattering them all over the place. The door opened and out stepped Jorgen, accompanied by Genya. The two of them stepped out of the elevator as Jorgen said “Turner!! We’ve contained the threat to Dimmsdale and we’re ready to show Dracula who’s boss around here!!...but I think our timing was off by an hour.”

    “I see I was right to entrust you with the task at hand.” Genya concluded. “You have done well, Timmy.”

    “Thanks. But what about Tootie? She was bitten by Dracula along with some others.”

    “As you have destroyed Dracula, anyone who was bitten by him will return to normal.” Timmy sighed in relief as Genya continued “However, they will still retain memories of what they did while under his thrall.”

    “Oh uh, really? That could complicate things.”

    “How so?”

    “I kinda had to keep Tootie, Trixie and Veronica a distracted while they were under his control. And we did things. REALLY bad things.”

    Jorgen raised his eyebrows. “Forgive me for asking but does it have anything to do with Tier 15 by any chance?”

    “Oh Timmy….” Timmy jumped as he felt a pair of hands wrap around his neck. Tootie, dressed now in a bathrobe and her hair a mess, cooed as she said “I don’t suppose you’re in any shape to do a bit of celebration after your victory are you?” Before he could make a response, Trixie and Veronica, also clad in similar bathrobes, appeared at either side of the boy. “I am up for that but can we do this in a place that is not a vole infested Gothic deathtrap?” Veronica asked, her toe tapping impatiently on the ground.

    “And while we’re at it, can we get some new clothes? We may have, err, misplaced ours.”

    “I’ll say this for him, he is creative.” Genya observed. “But where is Vicky?”



    “DAMN IT!!! WHY HERE?!! Vicky screamed, shivering as she walked around in what could only be described as the second to last place in the universe towillingly teleport to; the sky around her was pale green and rock platforms seemingly floated all around her as another person, a pale girl with a leather jacket and flaming blue hair waited at a bench. The rocker girl sighed as she said “Let me guess, high level fire teleportation spell?”

    “Yes, yes it was.” Vicky growled.

    “Hoo boy. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I screwed that one up before I got it right.” Ember laughed




  • #2
    Nice crossover. Great new story, NO PANTS! I don't think I want to celebrate Halloween in Dimmsdale! Thanks

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