Bullies
I got in to a conversation with someone a short time ago about bullies. It was interesting because she told me that she was a bully when she was younger and I told her that I was bullied. I was lucky with regards to my bullies. I wasn’t heavily tormented like some are, I was pushed around and threatened because I was a geek and week but never beaten up. I remember all my bullies and sometimes I wonder if they remember me. I wonder what I would say to any of them if I met them now. I’m not sure to be honest. I sometimes do internet searches for them but I always come up with nothing.
This friend of mine said she does indeed remember being a bully and those she pushed around. She admitted that she wouldn’t know what to say if she was confronted with those from her past. I told her that they probably haven’t forgotten her and chances are still hold on to some resentment towards her. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. In fact, I secretly hope they’re unsuccessful in what ever they’re doing now. Does that make me a bad person to wish that?
So now the big question, where you bullied when you where younger? What would you say to those people now. Or maybe you where a bully and if so how do you feel about who you where (assuming that you no longer bully people that is).
Play Asia
April 4th, 2012 at 11:49 pm
I encountered a fair amount of bullying when I was young. I never got physically beat up, but it was bad enough to force me to move in with my grandmother so I could go to a different elementary school. I probably would have been a psychological wreck if it wasn’t for that.
There was a little bit of it in middle school, but nowhere near as much.
Later on, I did run into someone in college who used to be obnoxious during high school, and they were completely different in college. I guess places and roles define people. When those things change, people change with them to some extent.
April 5th, 2012 at 1:15 am
I was both bullied and a bully, I got to say it made me into an ok person. bullied as a child due to being a native with long hair and also a building nerd (i built things forts out of old fencing) and a nerd in general. it taught me to fight and lose and win and take as many of them with me as possible and as i grew got a hair cut i started to bully other bullies which was great fun the bullies i picked on were the ones who preyed on the weak i became friends with some of them after i beat my way of thinking into them most of my fighting taught me you dont have to be the biggest or strongest just the smartest i met some of the bullies that bullied me as a child, they were still hangin out together they tried to start the old routine it ended great some broken bones, and bruised knuckles and four briused kidneys it wasnt even about revenge they were drunk and were picking a fight as i was walking by also I walked away that day with the bruised knuckles they kinda were too busy lying around and pissing blood the last i heard of them two got jobs and are now semi ok family men the third is out of rehab and seems to be doing ok now i wish them well i became the person i am today partially because of them
April 5th, 2012 at 1:19 am
It’s funny. As a kid, I was the stereotypical loner, got bullied a lot – though thankfully didn’t involve being beaten up. Roughed up, sure, but more verbally taunted and annoyed than anything. Sure, it was anything but enjoyable, but I certainly came away from it all with a thick skin from learning to ignore the majority of it, rather than any real negative effects.
But there was one bully I knew back from elementary, who recently – nearly 20 years later after the fact, managed to get in contact with my via email. He mentioned how he remembered being a bully to me and others all those years ago, and expressed a sincere regret for having acted that way towards others.
I have to admit that I never replied – I’ve wanted to, but I couldn’t work out what to say in reply to something like that. I mean, he was a young kid back then, and we all do stupid stuff and change – I hardly held it against him. Yet at the same time, wasn’t terribly interested into getting to know him again either, so just kinda left it, and still wonder what I would want to say to him other than a cheesy sounding ‘I forgive you’ or such.
April 5th, 2012 at 6:21 am
Hmmmmm. What to say. I believe that kids probably TRIED to bully me, but for reasons unknown to me, I don’t really remember my school years, and what I do remember I do remember playing with some choice friends, as well as being a library loner. From what I know of how I was I was the perfect target… I think. I don’t think i noticed though, and perhaps they gave up? Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that not only do I have ADHD (and I had taken ritalin….. dannng if it really did stunt my growth, how freaking tall would I be? I’m 5’11”) BUT I think I may be a aspie. Just a hunch. It made me a dreamy child. I can say for sure that I was bullied at home by my dads ex girlfriend, I can only think she was jealous whenever I got any attention at all… Hurtful woman. My dad didn’t stand up to her, but as she only said things and didn’t hit me or anything, it was shoved under the rug. Looking back I did some things a child starved for attention typically does. AS well as had trichotilomania. I attributed it to my meds… but now I dunno, could have been bitch. haha. And then I got to talk to my aunt of FB recently and she mentioned some things I hadn’t known about my early childhood (infancy etc) And that my mother treated me more like a doll…something that she only interacted with when she was interested. She had burned her bridge when I was 8…9 though so it only strengthened my resolve to never let her get in touch with me, or if she did, to let it fall away. I want nothing to do with that woman. The only reason she’ll want to find me will be because she will want something. pfft. My aunt said when I was a year old or something, she offered to adopt me after my parents split, i wonder how different I would be in that case… Oh and she said her kids screamed at her one christmas cuz previously mentioned ex bitch had picked me up by my hair to move me so her son could have my seat. I do NOT remember that. I have thought tho that if i were to see her I might be spending a night or two in jail 😉
But I’ve digressed. Given all that happened at home (And really, I think I had it good until bitch came into the picture, then stayed until I was about 19, whom had already gotten her way and got my dad to kick me out with a perceived nowhere to go when I turned 18)
Ahem. I think I had it alright before her, I don’t really remember too much tho :/ I think that may be thanks to my brain and how I would just seemingly let everything slide off (said aunt said I always seemed to be a happy child anyways whenever we met, even after bitch) No, I don’t plan to get a accurate diagnosis, why would I? I don’t want meds and really, if I am aspie as well as the adhd, its who I am…. as is the past, which I know is not so bad a past as some others… I could probably write a thick book on my childhood and what I DO know tho… If I had the patience for that sort of thing!)
So…. I think probably… probably kids tried to bully me, but for whatever reason I just didn’t react so it likely didn’t last awhile. Something like that I think I should remember right? My love was bullied as a kid and boy does he remember, and all adults Ive read or heard about who were bullied remember… so… I dunno.
April 5th, 2012 at 9:35 am
Sadly, I was bullied and I was beat up a few times. And even all these years later it still bothers me. If I were to meet one of my tormentors now, I’m not sure how I’d react. If their life was full of problems, I’d feel some karmic justice has been done. If they were doing well, I’d probably key their car.
April 5th, 2012 at 11:40 am
I wasn’t ever physically bullied, but I attribute that more to my size than to my situation. I was a big kid, so the bullies never bothered me. In fact, the one fight that I did get in was with a bully and ended with him on the ground and me stomping on his chest until a teacher showed up. I did have friends that were bullied, but it isn’t the same when you’re not the one on the receiving end. My friends actually liked having me around because the bullies wouldn’t bother them at that point (hopefully for other reasons too). Guess I was just genetically lucky, cuz’ if I hadn’t been physically intimidating, I’m sure I would have caught more grief–I was totally in the social group that is bully fodder (I’m a huge geek). The only nice thing was that we were much smarter than the bullies, so when they couldn’t f*&k with us physically and tried to insult us verbally, we could usually shut them up fast with superior retorts. It didn’t hurt that my dad knew most of their parents, and I heard most of the juicy gossip about them. In retrospect, given the venom with which I insulted some of their families, I am shocked that I didn’t get into more fights. Guess pounding the one as viciously as I did made them hesitant to try anything.
I’m sure it is a natural reaction to hold resentment against those who do us harm. But it is always good to keep in mind that people can change, and that even horrible behavior provides an opportunity for personal growth. We can only hope that those who do harm to others learn something positive from it. Though, the pessimist (realist?) in me doubts that many of them will.
April 5th, 2012 at 11:12 pm
well, i was bullied a little in school, but i think everyone was, even the bullies. but they knew not to pick on me after a while, cause i’d kick their ass even if they were three times my size and a teacher was nearby. it didnt matter to me, i would go berserk angry and i had a black belt to boot. so i was pretty much left alone for most of the time. even bullies can learn i guess.
April 9th, 2012 at 1:44 pm
ho some tried, because fundamentally I don’t give a damn about sport or what others like, so I did my stuff with MY friends.
Some bullies tried to change me, maybe it was one time violent before high school, but it was usually intimidation.
it really changed when I started to kick to do true harm. Stupids kids learned to let me alone and I kept the same friends than always.
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If I met some of the bullies now or bullies from others people I knew ? I think I would be truly evil, ugly. It could be fight or subtle way to fuck their life, whatever I could. I do think some people earned punishments.